Abandoned Blog

Hello Blog..helllo blog readers, here I am your writer.  I am so sorry to have abandoned you, for wow, a whole month.  IN so many ways it feels like it was just yesterday that I wrote that last post, and in many ways it feels like a lifetime.

It really is so amazing to me how life takes so many twist and turns in such a short amount of time.

This family is not laughing as much right now.  Let’s just say that we are all finding our place in the new year.  I hope that we find our place and start laughing again soon because I do miss the laughter in our home.

Little Adam is smiling up a storm and his sweet 11 week old presence helps bring us all into the present and reminds us of what really matters- right now, this moment and how we choose to live it.  What does Adam need?  What do we all need.

Love, food, to be held, cared for, made to feel special and valued.  Oh and maybe a bath every now and then.  Don’t worry he got one tonight.  I hope to come back to the abandoned blog soon….and hope I still have a presence in the blog world after my unintended absence.

Until then take care of yourselves, your the only one you got!

Posted in babies, balanced life, figuring it out, health, marriage, mindfulness, stress, tired, to do list, work | Leave a comment

Sticky Situations

Have you ever found yourself in a sticky situation?  When I say sticky I mean STICKY really sticky- messy and gooey and usually not at the house where you have towels and such to deal with the mess.  Being a family on the go we have had many sticky situations to deal with over the years.  Skyfox can get pretty messy… but kiddos sure do add a whole other level to the term sticky mess.

Wet Ones® recognizes that it’s product is great for cleaning up all of our sticky situations and is hosting a contest asking mom’s to share there stories and advice on how to clean em” up.  You can enter the contest by following this link to their facebook page your Sticky Situation there is even a chance to win some great prizes including an ipad mini and six flags tickets.   Act fast because the contest ends December 28th!  I know we all have something to share and laugh about (in retrospect).

Here’s a bit of my entry:  A Sticky Good Time 

One of the places my family likes to travel to is Maine.  It is not so far away, but always feels like we are a world away from home.  On one of our trips we decided to let Tommy eat a lollipop in the car on our way to the zoo.  He was so quiet and happy in the back seat that we enjoyed the scenic ride by the ocean.

Arriving at the zoo I looked back to see quite a happy, messy little boy!  Lollipop had made his way onto his hands, hair, clothes, oh and face.  Begging me to question,

“did you eat the lollipop or use it as a marker?”

Lesson learned. 1) ALWAYS bring a change of clothes- you don’t want to have to head home or even worse buy clothes everywhere you go.  2) keep a SUPPLY of tissues, Wet Ones®, and baby wipes/an extra diaper in a bag in the car.  Look at me I’ve been a mom for 3 1/2 years and I sound like a pro- it just takes a few sticky situations to teach you some valuable tricks.

Disclaimer: I participated in a campaign on behalf of Mom Central Consulting for Wet Ones. I received a promotional item to thank me for participating.
Posted in figuring it out, sponsorship, travel | Leave a comment

Mental Health and Children, My thoughts on Sandy Hook

I dropped my son off at preschool today with an extra hug and kiss good bye.

I looked around at all the innocent joyous children happy and smiling, and instead of making me sad, like I thought it would, it made me smile.

The horrific events that took place at Sandy Hook School in Newtown, Conn. have made many parents afraid this week, afraid of a copy cat crime…afraid of loosing our own.  Everyone is more aware, hyper aware that bad things happen and that someone can take away what we love most.

I hope that the murders at Sandy Hook School make all of us appreciate what we have and give us a little more patience with our children- remembering that they are just children and are learning from our example everyday.  I hope that we can treat children that are different with a little more respect and try our best to meet their unique and individual needs.

I don’t believe that Adam Lanza woke up that morning and snapped.  I believe as a social worker that  messages inside his head were not quite right for a long time…could we trace it back even to when he was in elementary school? Maybe we can- maybe this child needed to be placed in a special education classroom with more individual attention- or maybe he needed counseling and careful monitoring of his medications.  Perhaps his mother, father, and/or brother could have benefited from counseling and/or a support group for reacting to his needs.  A better understanding of him, more supportive services for his family, less stigma for his mental illness, more talking and less keeping his secret within the home could have changed everything.

I have read a lot of articles since Friday blaming guns, blaming the mother… to blame seems natural and soothes us a little bit- there has to be someone to blame- a criminal in all this.  It is much easier to blame something, than to look at this event as an unfortunate outcome of an unstable man who did something horrible- why did he choose to take his inner rage out on innocent children?  We might never know.

What can we do now? One thing we can do is look at our children and be honest and true .. not take the easy way out and pretend that they are perfect and all is ok, if it is not.

do they need to be on medication?  do they need to see a therapist- possibly for the rest of their life? do they need to have constant supervision?  do they need a special after school program? Do I as a parent need support? Do we as a family need to secure weapons in our home or not have them at all?  do we as a community need to advocate for more funding for mental health services, grants for big brother/mentor programs, job training and employee assistance programs…

I am Tommy and Adam’s mother and I promise to love them.  I also promise, as I hope more parents will do: to treat them as individuals and be honest if they need help mentally.  If I can’t provide that help I will do my best to advocate and push for what they need from their schools, the state, the feds- whatever it takes.

 

My heart goes out to the families and all those affected by the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School and the community of Newtown, Conn.   I am so sorry for your loss and so saddened for you that you have to endure this pain.  I have cried every day and pray that there will be some positive changes after this horrible event. 

 

 

Posted in figuring it out, health, mindfulness, stress | Leave a comment

Is that your Final Decision?

It’s funny the stuff that you forget about about as your child grows, about how life really is when you have a newborn in your life.  Maybe it is the minds way of allowing us to heal, the long term affects of sleep deprivation, or nature’s way of ensuring that people have more children- but you really do forget some of the hardships and remember only the cuteness when you find yourself pregnant once again.  One thing I would like to remember going forward is:

The decision

The baby finally goes down for a nap, a real nap not a nap in your arms or on your chest.  You are free, back to your old self- at least in body, not quite in mind yet.  You think to yourself … I have time, time all to myself.  Now comes the difficult part- you just don’t know how long you will have- 10 minutes to 2 hours?? What to do next?

The decision

Nap? Shower? Clean? Do some work from home? Blog? Go on facebook and space out for awhile…solve world hunger?

What will you do? What will I do today, well here I am typing away, when really I should be resting.

The total lack of personal time and space is something that you really do forget about as other children get older and the independent play time increases.Shoot the baby is stirring

45 minutes later…I should have napped.

 

 

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Posted in babies, figuring it out, newborns, pregnancy, to do list | 1 Comment