This week has been a struggle in so many ways.  Croup came into our lives in full force and did not go away.  It actually got worst and has ended this week with progressing into pneumonia.  The whole week we struggled with knowing what to do, playing Doctor without the appropriate credentials, advocate (trying to have it without attitude), and dealing with the guilt that comes from being working parents.

I swear what angers me the most is the fact that Doctors, I mean the Nurses (since Doctors are protected like they are god or something) all tell you something different.  One told us that the steroid was enough, the other told us to use the nebulizer, yet another tells us to use a different solution in the neb…..yet another prescribes amoxicyllian!!! ahhhhhhhhh- can you hear me screaming????!!!!  I could not remember what to give him and I felt so confused all week.  He seemed to be getting better so I stopped using the nebulizer then the next day worse, we go to the Doctor- I mean nurse again and we get back on it.  Next time I will take notes and names so I know who to yell at.

I did raise my voice a few times this week.  One nurse I saw on Tuesday then on Thursday same nurse.  I could tell right away that she did not remember us and that upset me.  I thought she would cover herself when she left the room and came back (am I wrong to assume they look at the patients notes before they see them?..shouldn’t this be standard procedure?).  Well she did not.  She came back in the room and said we would have to weigh him- well that was enough for me- I said, “well you weighed him on Tuesday so I don’t think much has changed since then”  The advocate in me has called a number of times this week- each time trying to reach the mysterious Doctor of ours, who the staff protects really like she is god.  Well my son deserves to be seen by a Doctor and for us to understand what the plan is for his treatment- and for this I am pissed and ready to take action, one way or another.

Now here is where the bad mommy confession begins….this week really challenged me in balancing work and my sick son, who should have been my first priority.  The thing is we are going away next week and so this week I packed with clients and meetings. Tuesday my husband and I had competing commitments so we decided to split the day- I took the morning he took the afternoon. Wednesday I dropped my poor sick son off at daycare- horrible, horrible mommy moment.  We both had tough days and did not want to give up our work. He did not have a fever that morning, but he was coughing. I feel horrible because he got much worse that night and the next day is when we found out he had pneumonia.  Thursday we split the day again. Today, Friday I canceled everything at the last minute because he needed me and wanted me to hold him, so I held him close all day long- and guess what he is getting better.  Today has helped the bad mommy guilt from Wednesday.

When your child is sick, and you have “other plans” it really does rock your world.  When you have competing priorities, when you know which one should be your first- what do you do?  I said to my supervisor this week, it’s not like I can be out sick every day or even once every week…she agreed.  Work wants you there, your son wants you there…your husband needs to work, you need to work.  There is just no easy solution.

This usually decent mommy is feeling guilty this week.

Do you always stay home or do you drop your sick kiddos off at day care…

confess if you dare.